Archive for the ‘Discipline’ Category

End The Abuse with the Help Of Domestic Abuse Attorneys

Wednesday, May 6th, 2009

Police officials and government authorities are all in agreement in acknowledging domestic abuse are strong precursor to tragic and fatal conclusions of domestic conflicts. In most cases the domestic rage is stoked by alcohol and drug abuse. One of the worst things about this domestic problem is that you may end up with a maimed or even a dead victim. This is a serious and dangerous issue that lurks into our home that require the legal remedies which one can get through the expert advice of a competent Las Vegas domestic abuse lawyer.

What police authorities are concerned about is that in many cases a victim of domestic violence would choose to suffer in silence and cases of domestic abuse remain unreported. Victims of abuse must immediately seek the help of a professional Las Vegas domestic violence lawyer in order to put a stop to this cycle of violence and prevent further harm that may come upon the victim. The problem becomes more complicated if we have to deal with victims who even blame themselves for the harm that was inflicted on them. Cases like these are the most difficult to handle and it would really require the intervention of a competent Las Vegas domestic abuse lawyer as the victims seemed to have the inability to defend themselves.

A recent study has determined that more than half of married couples in the US have experience various degrees of domestic abuse at certain times in their married relationship. Most of the respondents that reported domestic abuse admitted of not having considered seeking the help of a Las Vegas domestic violence lawyer. The spousal abuse that they experience can vary in type.. The media has provided us with the ugly faces of domestic violence and despite the heightened awareness we are not expecting to see concrete solutions or a way out In fact, what we are witnessing is the disturbing escalation of cases of domestic abuse.

Any Las Vegas domestic violence lawyer can give you the best protection using legal remedies that are enshrined to address issues concerning domestic violence. He can also make you understand the root causes of the problem and how to react accordingly in order to prevent from becoming a victim.

Psychologists have long established the inveterate abusers are themselves victims of abuse in their early lives. One and all bring our experience from childhood as we grow up and mature. A traumatic and violence-laden childhood is something that will definitely push someone to commit abuses even to those he loves. This is the leading cause that we are always confronting the phenomenon of the cycle of abuse. It can take years and with the expert help of a competent psychiatrist before one can be able to heal the wounds of a traumatic childhood. One may even have to attend counseling appointments to manage anger and violent behavior. And while the perpetrator is coping with his problems of abusive tendencies, his potential victims must take on proactive movements to avoid further harm from happening.

Primary Motivations of Behavior in People

Thursday, April 2nd, 2009

In controlling behavior it is generally necessary to know precisely what motivates people to misbehave. Many people will always attribute a behavior to attention seeking. But this is only one out of an array of motivations.

Attention:

Sometimes people are motivated by attention. This is especially true of clients in mental institutions, politicians and people involved in the media industry.

Solution to attention-seeking:

In order to solve the behavior problem it may be necessary to give more attention to an individual than would ordinarily be expected. In rare cases, it may even be necessary to give an individual non-contingent attention in order to squelch the abnormal behavior. In some cases individuals may transcend their craving for attention by reflecting on what benefit they have received as a result of attention. Politicians sometimes realize that attention can carry with it just as many negatives as positives.

Terminate Ignore:

There are some who simply seek to terminate the period of time in which they are being ignored. These are similar to people who crave attention except they are generally satisfied if they become the focus of attention for only a short time. Many wives are in this situation, feeling their husbands have generally ignored them. Many employees are in this situation, feeling their boss ignores them except when something goes wrong.

Solution to terminate ignore:

Sometimes simple recognition, even momentary, may be the solution. It only takes a short time to let someone know that you appreciate them. Very few people will express a dislike for being appreciated.

Task Avoidance:

Many times people will exhibit behavior problems when they are hoping to avoid a task. A husband or wife may start screaming at their partner when a subject is brought up that they do not want to discuss. Children sometime run away from home to avoid a trip to the dentist or therapist.

Solution to task avoidance:

Sometimes you can practice successive approximation, taking gradual steps toward the goal prior to reaching the target behavior.

Tangibles Acquisition:

This is a usual situation in which an object (toy, candy, food, car, money, house, etc.) is desired but not obtained. Sometimes the result is a temper fit or temper tantrum.

Solution to tangibles acquisition:

Generally, a behavior contract can be implemented. A particular toy, for example, can be earned by one week of good behavior and doing designated tasks each day without fail.

Physical Sensation:

People participating in sexual crimes have physical sensation as their motive. People who use medications to alter what their mind and body experience have as their motivation physical sensation. Sky-divers and amusement park riders have physical sensation as their motivation.

Solution to physical sensation:

Generally the solution is to find acceptable safe ways to enjoy physical sensation, without the endangering of life and limb.

Escape:

Many people have escape as their motivation. Runaways, in many cases, just want to get away from their families and the situation that they have had to endure.

Solution to escape:

There are several solutions. Change the environment to a reinforcer-rich environment. Make home a good place to be, a place to enjoy. In the case of runaways, take more vacations and travel more extensively.

Compliance Tug-Of-War:

Some people enjoy a fight of any kind. Some employees, for example, enjoy pushing against their boss on various issues. Some hospital patients enjoy resisting treatment and seeing the reaction of the staff.

Solution to compliance tug-of-war:

One solution is to pass the word that no one is to react strongly to the person trying to get a tug-of-war started. This only works if everyone involved is consistent in participating.

More information is at conduct control. One principal in behavior psychology is that honey works better than vinegar. This is true and exemplifies the fact that positive behavior techniques should take priority. On the other hand, ruling out punishers is also a mistake. The best balance is having an environment in which misbehavior becomes the exception to the rule.

Catch people being good and reward them!

More information?

Go to behavior motivation.

P.S. Also take into account the advantages which EFT (emotional freedom technique) is giving people and how it helps to set one on the road of self empowerment.

Dianne Baurmind’s Parenting Styles Defined: Top Parenting Guide

Monday, October 27th, 2008

Parenting is a complicated matter. Developmental psychologists show their keen interest in exploring different elements of parenting and its influence on the development of the child. Although different theorists work differently on highlighting different elements of parenting, Dianne Baurmind’s theory of parenting styles has probably got the most importance. In her theory of parenting styles, Dianne Baurmind defines three exclusive parenting styles – permissive, authoritarian and authoritative. And, Dianne Baurmind alleges that parenting styles deeply influence the personality, behavior and emotional balance of the child.

Permissive Parenting Style
Ae permissive parent follows a non-disciplinary, acceptant and affirmative parenting style while controlling child’s behaviors, impulses, desires and actions. In the permissive parenting style, parents generally talk with the child about guiding principle and provide the child the family norms. The permissive parents make only a few demands on behalf of household responsibility and logical behavior.

Parents who adopt the permissive parenting style set them neither as a model for him to imitate nor as an active agent responsible for adjusting their child’s behavior. Permissive parents prefer to place them as a resource to their child and the child is not set to follow any externally defined standards in general. The parents encourage their child to use logic and manipulation, but not any sort of overt power to achieve the parents’ standard of guidelines.

Authoritarian Parenting Style
Unlike to permissive parenting style, authoritarian parenting style focuses on shaping, controlling and evaluating the behavior and attitudes of the child. Parents who adopt authoritarian parenting style define a set of standards which is overtly influential and put together by a higher authority. Authoritarian parents value obedience as a quality of parenting style and implement forceful measures in order to restrain self-will, especially when the parents find that the son or daughter’s actions or behaviors conflict with the conduct set by them.

The authoritarian parents control the child’s autonomy as a standard of implementing discipline. In addition, they assign the child household jobs with the purpose of instilling value for work. These parents offer the highest value to the traditional structure and do their best to preserve order. Authoritarian parents do not accept ‘give and take’ policy as they believe that the child should exclusively follow parents’ direction.

Authoritative Parenting Style
Authoritative parenting style aims to regulate a child’s behavior in a rational, problem-solving manner. In authoritative parenting style, parents believe in verbal ‘give and take’ policy. They pay respect and try to comprehend the logic underlying the policy implemented by the child. The authoritative parents, in practice, try to comprehend the child’s protestations when the child says no to any rules. In authoritative parenting style, both child’s autonomy and disciplined conformity are understood, respected and valued.

Authoritative parents use strict control at times of parent-child conflict, but do not force the child to obey before learning the logic from the child’s end. Parents of authoritative style put their active parental role into effect, but value the child’s individual interest and identities too.

Consequences on Children
Dianne Baurmind’s different parenting styles affect the child’s psychosocial development in different ways. It will be obvious, the most effective parenting style among all three parenting styles set out by Dianne Baurmind is authoritative parenting style. Children with authoritative parents are found as more socially, psychologically and emotionally competent than kids with non-authoritative parents.

Children with authoritarian parents show poor social skills and low self-esteem along with greater level of depression. Childrenwith permissive parents are mostly involved in problem behavior and lower academic performance, but they have high self esteem and better social skills.

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these articles are packed with parctical advice on toilet training a child whether it’s a little boy or girl.

Tips & Hints On Parenting With Love And Logic

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

When you have kids, you are very likely questioning what the correct way to bring them up is. There have been many differing philosophies when it comes to bring up kids over the years, and each of them appears to have different things for you to consider. Overall, one of the most essential things to always remember is that the best way to parent is to be parenting with love and logic. No matter what the different philosophies say, at the bottom of the majority of them is usually parenting with love and logic.

How To Do It
When you are trying to work with parenting with love and logic, there are two main things that you should be concerned with. The first, of course, is love. Love is one of the biggest things that you can do, and in fact, with love is the best way that you can bring up your kids. When you parent with love, love should be your biggest concern. When you do anything with your kids – when you talk to them, when you talk about them, or when you make decisions together, it must always be with love. When you love your kids, you treat them in a special way.

One of the ways that you can be parenting with love and logic is by exhibiting respect. It is essential for you to respect your kids, and this is the best way for them to learn to respect you and also to respect others. It is always essential to do this when you are parenting with love and logic.

Logic
The other essential element of parenting with love and logic is being logical. Parenting with love and logic signifies that you should be logical in the decisions that you make when you are parenting. For instance, when you are punishing your kids, you want to be sure that the punishments that you hand out to them reflect what it is that they have done wrong. If you can logically connect the punishment to what they have done, this is a key element of parenting with love and logic. If you are able to make all of your decisions logically, you will be able to be a much better parent. You should try to be sure that each thing that you do is logical. When it comes time for you to be a parent, you should know that parenting with love and logic is the best way for you to go.

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these articles are packed with practical advice on potty training a child – boy or girl. You’ll discover that this key stage of a child’s development does not have to be stressful – for either parent or child.

Practical Guide: Present A Unified Parental Front When Disciplining Your Child

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008

Disciplining your son or daughter is never easy. You probably realize from experience and mistakes how important it is to be consistent, firm and to always follow through with designated disciplinary consequences. But when there are two parents involved, it’s vital they are both on the same page and apply discipline consistently irrespecrive of marital status.

Parents should agree on how to discipline their children. To become reliable to children, both parents must be consistent in dealing with similar situations. In a situation where the parents are separated or divorced, disagreeing with each other over upbringing can create a confusing situation for children. They should make a concerted effort to keep their child’s best interests at heart and sit down with their child and line out the rules and expectations and the consequences for violating those rules. Both should agree that the intended discipline is fair, and apply it consistently in a firm yet fair manner in each household.

In addition, if there are disagreements regarding discipline or other parenting issues, they are best resolved when the child is not present. If the child senses discord, they may attempt to manipulate the situation to their advantage.

When teaching good behavior, parents have to “practice what they preach.” Children learn values and beliefs more by the examples adults set than by verbal instructions. Screaming at a child to be quiet or paddling a child for hitting is hypocritical and ineffective. Determine what is important and what parental response to use to teach your child. It would be more effective to calmly tell your child to be quiet or use “time-out” when a child is physically aggressive.

And remember what works now may not work later down the road. Situations may dictate a different approach, and time and maturity may demand a child’s rule be modified or abolished altogether. Sometimes your common sense will help you decide when bedtime rules should be amended or table manners relaxed. Some rules will be the same, others will be modified or abolished, and new ones will be introduced. But regardless of the situation, parents should always present a united front and work [spin[with each other|together[/spin] and not against each other in providing effective discipline for their son or daughter.

Potty training is frequently a stage of childhood development that many parents dread. As with discipline it is vital that a consistent approach is adopted. Both parents, and anyone else involved in caring for your son or daughter must follow the same toilet training regime. To do otherwise simply confuses the toddler. And potty training will take longer and be more stressful.

Learn more about the best toilet training programs
tips for potty training boys
tips for potty training boys
potty training boys

Positive Parenting

Friday, August 29th, 2008

Positive Parenting is something that concerns nearly all mothers and fathers. As devoted parents, we all want to have a healthy impact on our kids and help them to grow up feeling nurtured, safe, and cared for.

Quite often your child simply will not understand the values or ethics you are trying to instil in them, and you can rest assured as they get older they’ll try not to understand even more

One part of the answer is to seek the best, illuminate the positive, and to find the grain of goodness in every situation you encounter with your child.

The underlying principle here is that every situation that arises with your child is perfect, even at its most troublesome point. Every situation has a positive side. Therefore, positive parenting begins with desiring to find the positive in any situation.

Also try to keep telling them No, children remember this and often it can be negative to their development.

Try giving them a choice with a more positive outcome to help them figure it out for themselves, for example ” well you can do that but if you do this and this you’ll get this (positive result).

It’s always going to be a challenge bringing up children and even though there are hundreds of books out there, that does not mean the methods of parenting will always be right, but rest assured positive parenting is a good way to go.

Winning Parent Guide: Tactics For Tackling A Toddler’s Temper Tantrum

Wednesday, August 6th, 2008

Even the best behaved toddler will have an occasional temper tantrum. A tantrum can range from whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath holding. They’re equally common in girls and boys and normally occur from age 1 to age 3.

Some children may experience regular tantrums, whereas for other children, tantrums may be rare. Some children are more prone to throwing a temper tantrum than others.
Toddlers are trying to master the world and when they aren’t able to accomplish a task, they often use one of the only tools at their disposal for venting frustration - a tantrum. There are several basic causes of tantrums that are familiar to parents everywhere: The child is seeking attention or is tired, hungry, or uncomfortable. In addition, tantrums are often the result of children’s frustration with the world.

Frustration is an unavoidable part of childrens’ lives as they learn how people, objects, and their own bodies work.
Tantrums are common during the second year of life, a time when children are acquiring language. Toddlers generally understand more than they can express. As language skills improve, tantrums tend to decrease.

Keep off-limits objects out of sight and out of reach, which will make struggles less likely to develop over them. Distract your child. Take advantage of your little one’s short attention span by offering a replacement for the coveted object or beginning a new activity to replace the frustrating or forbidden one. And pick your battles: think about the request carefully when your child wants something. Is it outrageous? Maybe it isn’t. Accommodate when possible to avoid an outburst.

Make sure your child isn’t acting up simply because he or she isn’t getting enough attention. To a child, negative attention (a parent’s response to a tantrum) is better than no attention at all. Try to establish a habit of catching your child being good (”time in”), which means rewarding your little one with attention and praise for positive behaviour. This will teach them that acting appropriately makes mommy and daddy happy and proud, and they’ll be anxious to do it again and again.

Potty training is a stage of child development that many parents dread. Often it is because their own parents pass on tales of woe about their experiences of toilet training. But, things have changed. There is so much knowledge about how children develop that you can put that to your advantage. For stress free toilet training, why not follow a program. Find out more
potty training boys
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The advice applies equally well whether toilet training a little boy or little girl.

Time Outs & Discipline: Essential Good Parenting Advice

Monday, June 16th, 2008

Disciplining a young child using the time out method can be very effective, and can work with kids as young as 18-24 months old. By using this method of discipline parents are giving the child time to sit quietly and alone after misbehaving, without becoming angry or agitated with the child.

Select a suitable area in the house where the child is isolated from interacting with others. It can be a corner in their bedroom, a space on the kitchen floor or a special chair that’s labeled specifically for time outs. The length should be age appropriate. A good rule of thumb is generally one minute per year of age. A kitchen timer is helpful in counting down your child’s punishment time.

Time out for toddlers is used to give them a chance to regroup and calm down. It’s doubtful they will sit completely still, and they should not be forced to try.
All children should be asked in a firm but pleasant tone to complete a designated task or stop an undesired behavior. If their behavior persists, they should be verbally directed to behave once again, with eye contact being made and the time out spot pointed out. If after this warning the behavior still persists, they should be escorted to the time out area and told exactly why they are being sent there. Maintain a calm but firm tone with them. Once they’ve quietly served their time in the time out location it’s essential to discuss with the child why they were sent there and that if the behavior occurs again, they will again be sent to time out. Older kids should then agree to do what you told him to do or cease misbehaving. Children who leave their time out location before their time is up must be made aware that privileges will be lost as a result.

It’s likely that your time out method will have to be modified to fit the temperament of your child and your own parenting style. And remember to reinforce positive behavior with praises, hugs and smiles. Time out can successfully be used outside the home such a grocery stores, restaurants, or shopping centers. It’s important to emphasize to the child that time out will be enforced should they misbehave while there. Be consistent and place the child in time out should they misbehave in the store. If you don’t, they’ll get the message early on that you’re inconsistent and will be more likely to test your boundaries.

Potty training a toddler, whether it’s a girl or boy is something many parents dread. But it does not have to be. You just have to go about it the right way. discover more
Potty training boys
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Kids and Chores

Tuesday, February 27th, 2007

It’s never too early to ask your kids to help you with chores around the house.  You can even start as early as two years old.  While children mature at different rates, you can still determine what age appropriate chores are best suited for toddlers, kids, pre-teens and teens.

If you have toddlers at home, they can certainly help you by: making the bed; picking up their toys; feeding the family pet; helping you put laundry into the basket; or cleaning up split milk on the kitchen floor. These chores would be most suited to two and three year olds.  You can teach your toddlers to do their chores by making a game out of it; or improvising different ways in which they can help. It will give them a sense of pride and accomplishment. Yes, even at that young age.

For four and five year olds, you can ask them to help you set the table; dust around the house; help make cookies; help you carry grocery bags (as long as you make it light for them).  Six and eight year old can really get into the chores by taking care of the pet they’ve always wanted; help you vacuum the floor; take out the trash or fold the laundry.
You can even ask them to help you prepare meals. Think of the experience they are getting at this early age.

Your pre-teens will have their work cut out for them. Some of the more vigorous chores can be relegated to outside work: rake the leaves; wash the car; help clean out the garage.
If you need help inside the house, they can certainly help you prepare meals, dusting and vacuuming the house; wash dishes or clean the bathroom. Certainly they would be old enough to make their beds; clear their room of debris; organize their toys, etc.

Teens pose a different problem altogether.  Sometimes they are willing to help, and other times not.  It depends on how you’ve raised them.  If they have been helping out since they were two, you won’t have a problem.  In fact, they can do almost anything you ask of them. Be sure they can manage whatever task you assign, however.  If you’ve taught them well, they have the ability to prepare meals; clean the kitchen; wash windows; do the laundry; just about any indoor and outdoor chore you need, short of providing close supervision, of course.  You wouldn’t want them to feel like a baby, now would you?

Using A Reward System For Good Behavior

Wednesday, February 21st, 2007

Sometimes, all children need is a little encouragement and positive reinforcement to ensure they are on their best behavior. Using a reward system for good behavior is a controversial subject. While some proponents believe it can be a good thing; others think it can be overused, thus having no affect at all. Here are a few positive reinforcement ideas for kids, when used properly, can help you tame the unruly child.

How do you reward your child for good behavior? Do you buy a toy which he or she has been asking for? Do you allow them an extra hour of TV? Or do you use another approach? There are several methods you can use to reward your child for good behavior which will not cost anything at all. One is praise. Children need to feel loved and accepted. Praising them for an accomplishment or behavior can reinforce that love.

According to experts, verbal reinforcement is very powerful. Yes, words are very powerful; and when used appropriately can make all the difference in the world to a child. It is positive reinforcement at its very best.

If your child had an especially good day in school; or shared with other children during playtime; or helped you with a specific chore at home; reward the child by allowing him to pick a movie, or choose what to have for supper, or allow additional time for his favorite TV program. Another choice would be to give the child a day off from walking the pet, or taking out the garbage for a week. While rewarding a child for good behavior may seem appropriate; it can be overused to such a degree that the child would do anything for that particular reward.

To infuse good behavior is to properly raise the child from the get-go. Certainly, children at some time become unruly; but the reward system may work one time, and one time only. Using positive reinforcement to ensure your child has not only been good, but is loved and accepted for who he or she is. Once that is established, the rest will follow.