How To Remain Committed In Spite Of A Long Distance Relationship
Thursday, July 17th, 2008 Subscribe To Our Feed
Long distance relationships are being dealt with by many couples these days and it is not an easy challenge. It is one of the many marriage crisis faced by couples today. Though sometimes, a person can enter a relationship which is long-distance from the start. But what we will be talking about here is the type when couples are forced into this kind of set-up because of certain reasons. It may be seeking additional financial means to sustain or improve status of living, or it can be opportunities to attain better educational backgrounds, or maybe even to provide a chance to settle a family in the future on a different country.
What can someone do to maintain a healthy relationship even if one important aspect of a relationship and that is the human touch, is lacking?
First thing to do is to be certain of yourself, your personal attitudes, beliefs and expectations to your relationship and your partner. Assess if you personally have the right attitude to deal with this kind of arrangement. Make an internal inventory of yourself. Our ebooks, “From First Date to Soul Mates” and “Save My Marriage Today 1 & 2” are excellent resources for you to find out the best questions to ask yourself while doing your inventory.
And then start improving the quality of your communication even before you separate. Talk and listen to each other. Be clear of your expectations from each other when you are already apart. Respect each other’s point of views and be ready to adjust to the max if needed. The habit of COMMUNICATION will serve you in good stead not just through a long distance phase in your relationship but throughout its entire life span.
Next is to set aspirations in sync with each other. Be certain or maybe even set a possible time table of plans. How long? How far? Till when? Have a possible agreement of your long-term future together. This will make it clearer for both parties on where they currently stand. Entrust yourself on this but don’t set it as if nothing can happen to change it. You never know how things could turn out when you’re apart and things may not work out as you had hoped. Even if you both survive the long-distance, it is possible that you will both change your minds about what you want to do when you meet again.
Maximize technology to your advantage. Webcams and web chats, mobile phones these are all tools you can use extensively to maintain communication in your relationship – some even with the benefit of seeing each other “face to face”. You can also give more effort by sending your pictures to show how well you are coping with the separation.
Get the most out of the situation by taking it as a chance to improve yourself on your own. Yes, it’s alright to cultivate your independence even when your partner is not there. It allows you a reprieve from feelings of loneliness. Boosting your self-confidence and keeping yourself busy will make you strong enough to keep doubts away. It will help you a lot to evade the small chances of being in despair because of loneliness and thinking negative thoughts that may sink in your mind from time to time. Surround yourself with common friends and loving people who have seen you and your partner on your best times together. They will remind you of these moments whenever this is necessary. Good friends can be your conscience in times of temptation, your encouragement in times of doubt. At the same time, let your partner also improve himself apart from you. Like you, he has also the right to find means to cope with loneliness. At these moments, trust and communications will be your greatest allies.
The pointers on this article are mainly focused on couples who have spent a considerable time with each other before they have parted. Couples who met and managed to fall in love and establish a relationship even when they are oceans apart is a different case. But assuming that they have undergone the same process of assessing themselves of how much they are committed to their union and how well they know their partners, maintaining the relationship would also entail very much of what have been discussed here.
There will come a time when your partner’s schedule and budget will allow you to meet and be together physically. Make sure that these moments are of QUALITY, not quantity because that is really all that matters. There’s no point in one of you travelling such a long way only for the other to be busy with other appointments, meetings or work. Instead of making it a precious time to be with each other, it will just create stress and disappointment. Take this as a chance to update each other’s doings and improvements.
Lastly, to be able to withstand all the uncertainties of being separated, you should build trust and fortify it with love, respect and patience. Whatever you do, do not lose trust. Maintain it with dependability and consistency of your habits.
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